2004 Raw Knucks Regatta Festival: The Year of the Slurk

2004 Raw Knucks Regatta Festival: The Year of the Slurk!!!!

Announcement 1

The Song of the Slurk

All slimy and dark, it lurks in the park amidst the benthic flow

With extreme irritation towards rhythmic sensation, it rages when people row.

You know that it’s near when the fish jump in fear

Or a splash at your back makes you jerk.

So row like a winner or you might be dinner

For the hideous Creve Coeur Lake Slurk!

Mark your calendars rowing pals! It will soon be time for another round of irrational rowing exuberance, with a very serious focus on fun and a tinge of team building (but let's not get carried away, OK?) The 2004 Raw Knucks Regatta Festival Executive Committee invites you to make plans to be a part of it all.

The Raw Knucks Regatta Festival of 2004 celebrates the Slurk, the monstrous, prehistoric, fresh-water, sea creature that has been sighted at Creve Coeur Lake by rowers for decades. This amphibious demon has been described as a toothy fish-like serpent with a face like a foo dog, talons, bulging eyes and bad breath. Often referred to as the "Loch Mess Monster", the oft-sighted Slurk has proven elusive to capture and the cause of many a stuck oar, spooky splash and spine-tingling hull thump. This year we must catch it on film.

The dates:

September 10th (Friday Evening): The Hunt for Old Messy Ball (with hors d'oeuvres, libations and music so close to being live it's still warm), Water Monster Film Festival for kids and Team Registration at the Boat House.

September 11th (Saturday): Condensed, High-Speed Learn-to-Row classes, picnics, kite fly, and boat practice all day.

September 12th (Sunday): AM: Additional practice PM: Sprint Racing, Awards, Food and Fun!

Here's the scoop again:

Entry fees (used to pay for our elaborate trophies and planning retreats for the executive committee) will be $10 for students and $20 for adults younger than Karl Heilman. Rowers older than Karl Heilman are free. All fees must be paid before practice can begin. Entry fees are paid only by the new rowers (6 per boat), club members and coxswains are exempt. We have a limited number of boats, so get organized early! Each crew has a team captain (who may be one of the two experienced rowers in the boat), an experienced stroke pair of rowers, 6 novices, and a coxswain. [The executive committee will help team captains find coxswains and experienced rowers if needed.]

Individuals who work with slackers or aren't social enough to organize a crew on their own can sign up to help fill out crews that have open seats. We just need a name and contact information.

All corporate or organization sponsors (they buy the shirts mentioned below) will be acknowledged in glowing terms on the SLRC web site along with exciting race images.

The current rules (we'll make up more as we need them) are as follows:

All new rowers must be new (as in "NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE!") rowers.

Each crew must have an unusual, interesting or esoteric name.

Each crew must have documented images of their own sighting of the Creve Coeur Lake Slurk. (Night images with infra-red photography are allowed.)

Each crew must have matching tee-shirts which are vibrant and stylish, trendy hats and a team song or chant.

Practice is limited to Saturday and Sunday morning and use of boats is scheduled by the executive committee.

In the event of inclement weather the races will be conducted indoors and the winners will be chosen by a complex algorithm which is currently under development by our committee on computational rowing.

The Raw Knucks Regatta operates under a "Don't ask. Don't tell." rule compliance policy. NO CHEATING THIS YEAR!!!

How To Register:

To register your boat send in the names, ages, and genders of your crew (the 6 new rowers) along with the necessary entrance fees to the SLRC (address below). The captain should collect all entry fees and send them together for the boat. If you are in need of additional rowers, contact Bob Eilers (see below) and he will let you know of any individuals who have expressed an interest in participating. It is always good to have at least one alternate new rower lined up for these regattas. Stuff happens. Only six rowers per boat should submit entry fees, which are $20 per adult, $10 per student; rowers over 80 are free. The crew captain will be the contact person for the crew prior to the regatta, so please include an e-mail address and phone number with your registration materials.

Individuals who would like to participate, but aren't affiliated with any crew, can submit their names to the organizers so they can be contacted by crew captains who are in need of additional rowers.

Send Registration Information and Entrance Fees to:

SLRC 2004 Raw Knucks Regatta Festival

St. Louis Rowing Club, PO Box 411094, St. Louis, MO 63141

When to Register: NOW!!!!

We have a limited number of boats available (12) so if you want to ensure that you’re in the race, get your registration in quickly. Once all the boats are taken, registration will close. [A boat will be reserved for your team only after all 6 entry fees are paid.]